| The F-in' B: The Truth About the Female Boss Revealed |
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| Written by Susanne Van Maarion | |||||||
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Take a look at toxic workplaces and how they are influenced by women in power. Following an utterly dreadful experience with a horrendous boss lady, I decided to bring attention to the bad boss problem by writing about the subject. I also felt curious, wanting to know who else out there had endured a similar misfortune. During my "mission," I spoke with numerous workers from a cross-section of industry. One pleasant, articulate woman (whom I will call "Jen" to protect her identity) had a particularly poignant story to share. For me, struggles like Jen's (and my own before her) highlight the need to persist in our efforts to shed light on this issue, lest it be swept under the rug, ignored, and allowed to continue. Jen is a single mother in her early 40s, college educated, and employed full-time at a community support agency. She is dedicated, hardworking, and well liked by her co-workers and clients. Jen remembers feeling at the top of her game--working for a high-profile agency in a position she enjoyed, she also happened to be making decent money. Without warning, however, this promising situation began to veer sharply off-course. "I started having conflict with my boss," she recalled. "We just couldn't seem to see eye-to-eye anymore, and she started harping on me over smaller and smaller details. She completely lost sight of the good work I was doing, and began to criticize my every move. When I attempted to negotiate with her and share my perspective, she didn't want to hear it. She just got angry, and demanded that I had better start doing things her way." Startled by her boss's comments, Jen remembers reflexively asking, "Or else what?" "Don't do it and you'll find out," her boss ominously countered. The intimidation and harassment didn't end there. "Then the emails started," Jen said. They contained bizarre, arbitrary demands, such as ordering Jen to rearrange the lay out of her office furniture without justification for the direction. Jen's boss also began surveillance on her, showing up unannounced while Jen was meeting with clients, recording her break times, and electronically spying on her appointment schedule on the outlook calendar. Feeling increasingly upset and anxious, Jen decided to bring her concerns to the head of the company, letting him know about the effect this behaviour was having on her work and well being. The response? "Well, he listened, which I appreciated," says Jen. "Ultimately, as far as I know, though, he took no corrective action." "Two weeks later, the stress was so much that I had to take a few days off. While I was away, my boss and one of her cronies in human resources went through my files and found that I had fallen behind on my paperwork. Not an uncommon problem in my line of work, and easily repaired if I had been given the opportunity to do so," said Jen. "When I returned from sick leave, they held a disciplinary hearing and put a letter of reprimand on my personnel file! I couldn't believe I was being written up over something like that." During the disciplinary meeting, Jen recalled a fleeting urge to crumple up the letter and pitch it across the desk, although thoughts of additional ramifications stifled whatever momentary gratification she might have enjoyed by doing so. "Instead, I just sat there, fought back the tears, and took it." Jen confessed. "Now that damn letter will be on my personnel file for the next two years, and I can't get a good reference if I apply for another job. I feel completely trapped." Jen says she fell into a depression in the weeks afterwards, her confidence shaken to its core. She became less effective at work, and started having health problems. Although she attempted to be philosophical about it later, the emotional aftermath remained. "It was no coincidence that I got written up," she remarked, her voice tinged with sadness and resentment. "My boss wanted to send a message that she was in charge, and that she would find ways to punish me if I challenged her. I have been working in this field for more than a dozen years and I've never been reprimanded before. In fact, my performance record was spotless prior to this incident. Now, my career is damaged." Unfortunately, sagas just like Jen's abound in organization after organization--accounts of maniacal managers who pound desks, throw things, play favourites, back-stab, threaten, and verbally abuse their subordinates. It's just another day at the office for many who endure the torture of working under a toxic boss. And "toxic boss syndrome" seems to be occurring with increased regularity nowadays, making the workplace feel more like an endless nightmare than the sterile environment where we simply do our job and earn a paycheque. Like Jen's boss, many of these administrative tyrants don't seem genuinely interested in motivating their employees or improving productivity--their goal is to dominate, intimidate, control, and demean. The unresolved question is: why? Why do some bosses seem to take pleasure in the suffering of their subordinates? And, is it just me, or do these toxic bosses seem to disproportionately belong to the female gender? A woman occupying a position of power and leadership ought to be seen as a sign of advancement in our society. After all, less than one hundred years ago women were not allowed the right to vote. There was a time in recent history when divorce meant the equivalent of total destitution for a woman, and when female professional and economic opportunities were severely limited. Even if a woman was able to infiltrate the ranks of the work world, she often did so at the sacrifice of marital and family prospects, while simultaneously facing the harsh reality that her male counterpart in the same occupation would be earning double her salary (who might even subject her to sexual harassment, if the disparity in pay wasn't enough to prove the power differential and put her in her place). Yes, even though Hillary Clinton conceded defeat to a worthy opponent, a woman running for president of the United States for the first time in history is a clear demonstration that we've come a long way, baby. However, after hearing countless horror stories of awful female managers like Jen's, is it any wonder I feel strangely relieved that a woman is not in charge of the most powerful nation on earth at this time? A bitter pill to swallow, given that women have worked so hard and come so far. A female boss should signal the existence of equality, opportunity, and progress in our organizations. In reality, she often evokes contempt and mistrust amongst her employees. So perhaps it's time to ask ourselves, what is wrong with this picture? Are the qualities of nurturing, compassion, and empathy--so often associated with our conventional notions of what it means to be female--completely discarded when a woman chooses a career as a manager? Or, do management positions happen to attract individuals who are less merciful to begin with? My best guess is that it's probably a bit of both. Regardless of whether they're male or female, every person is influenced to some extent by their external surroundings, and certain individual properties--like aggression, selfishness, and competitiveness--can be provoked and cultivated in just about anybody given the right kind of circumstances. It is entirely possible that we just don't expect it from women as much as we do from men. That's not to suggest that there isn't something dark and disturbed lurking underneath the polished veneer of your female boss, something that was there long before you had the pleasure of meeting her. These managers purposefully bully their employees, and were most likely "socialized in an abusive situation, where they learned to use anger, manipulation, and intimidation to feel in control," says psychologist Sue Genest. The predatory behaviour of these women stems from a belief that they are entitled to dominate and demean their subordinates, based on the notion that her gratification trumps the rights of others. Important to recognize, however, is that this belief system would not be able to operate without some positive reinforcement and protection from the organization she works for. The end result is that employees don't trust or respect these bosses--they fear them. Alternatively, some problem female bosses unintentionally cause harm to their employees in reaction to environmental pressures. Overwhelmed with stress, she remains blissfully unaware of the negative impact her behaviour has on her staff. Insecurity and anxiety are in the driver's seat here, making these women frantic, disorganized, impulsive, and controlling. Employees generally don't possess much confidence in this boss because her directions are confusing and chaotic. These managers also step in where they're not wanted and micromanage their staff, heightening the frustration and aggravation of those on the receiving end. Unlike her calculating counterpart, whose venomous conduct is intentional, this type of female boss is more clueless than deliberate, more hapless victim of circumstance than sociopath. What they share in common is a mutual failure to lead effectively, because neither is able to recognize or respond to anything beyond her own needs. In other words, the toxic female boss is so wrapped up in herself and her agenda that she cannot see the forest for the trees, unable to fully appreciate the consequences of her actions. Perhaps it's the price women have had to pay to adapt to the cutthroat business culture, an exploitive world that does not, has never, valued traditional feminine qualities since its inception. In order to climb the ladder and achieve "progress," we've been required to sell out and nullify compassion and kindness, blocking opportunities for camaraderie, fairness, and a sense of community to evolve within the workplace. Therefore, our ruthless female boss is simply a reflection of our ruthless corporate era, an external warning sign of a much larger underlying problem--a system of business where human beings have been relegated to the ranks of property, expendable objects in the production of commodities and services. The bad boss's disrespectful treatment of her workers is nothing more than a natural, inevitable outcome of the philosophy underlying this system. I believe it is this callous mentality, more so than the female boss's bad behaviour, that is the larger affront to our dignity and humanity. However, regulation that protects workers against sexual harassment and discrimination provides a strong foundation to oppose this mindset and address toxic boss syndrome. After all, such policies are grounded in the rationale that employees are entitled to a base line of respect and protection in the workplace (and on the knowledge that our right not to be abused doesn't stay home and surf the net while we head off to the office in the morning). In the final analysis, one issue has become glaringly obvious: it is the way we do business that is not really working, not for women, not for our families, not for our workplaces, not for our communities. Unprecedented numbers of stress related illness, the current economic crisis, and continuing reports of workers suffering harsh treatment on behalf of their bosses all provide compelling evidence for this argument, which remains hard to deny. Steps must be taken towards creating real and lasting changes by demanding that human rights are given a voice in the business world, and by incorporating a healthy dose of female benevolence into the way organizations are run. The pendulum of history has swung so far in one direction, perhaps on its return journey we will be able to grasp the attributes of decency, connection, and caring along the way. Comments (9)
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