| My Superficial Mommy |
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| Written by Christine Orchanian Adler | |||||||
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A new children's book helps women explain to their children why mommy is going under the knife to change her body. Moms, take heart. If you are about to join the ranks of the 10.6 million women who underwent some type of cosmetic surgery in 2007, and are worried about what to tell your kids before and after, the children's book market is here for you. Just in time for Mother's Day (and perhaps a similarly scheduled procedure on your part?), Big Tent Books in Savannah, GA released a Florida plastic surgeon's picture book called My Beautiful Mommy. The book aims to ease the fears of children whose parents are getting such cosmetic work done as tummy tucks, nose jobs, and breast enhancement procedures. When I first read the press release, my initial reaction was, "only in America would you find a market for such a thing." One who knew me might think I'd be the biggest advocate for this type of book. I am a former parenting magazine editor; I am a mother; I was raised in a family where pretty much nothing was discussed with the children, leaving us to fill in the blanks with our own imaginations, or (it was hoped, I assume) not notice or ask questions. Yet something about it leaves me cold. Are we idealizing beauty by reading this book to our children, and teaching them to value surface appearances? I don't think so, and that's why my problem isn't with the book. My problem is with the parents who are having the surgery, because their actions are teaching their children to idealize beauty and change what they don't like about themselves (or what they think others don't like) rather than accepting themselves for what they are and building on their strengths as individuals. This adds to the message children already receive every day in mainstream media (cartoons included) that if you're not thin with a perky nose and breasts, you are just not beautiful. We have a saying in my house: you get what you get and you don't get upset. My five-year-old can deal with the disappointments life hands him better than several adults I know. And while I admire any parent who has his child's best interest at heart and searches for a book to help with those tough situations (I do it myself), in this case the whole situation seems laughably hypocritical. Reading this book to your child says, "Mommy wants to change, just like a butterfly, so she will have a perky nose and flat tummy." Yet choosing cosmetic surgery says, "Mommy is dissatisfied with her body, but she can (and wants to!) pay someone lots of money to cut her up so she will look different from the way nature intended." The goal of the book is to help answer potential questions children might have, such as "Why is Mommy going to the doctor? Is Mommy sick?" Because most children know that going to the doctor (or into the hospital) is done when we are sick, this book ironically helps parents teach their children that a body you're not happy with is not a healthy one. But considering that in 2006, 8.7 million U.S. children did not have health insurance, the book I'd really like to see published would answer such questions as, "Why can't I go to the doctor or get medicine if I'm so sick? Is it because I was bad?" and "What does 'afford' mean?" Such a book would, of course, have to be distributed to free libraries and schools because the people who'd need to read it wouldn't be trolling for it on Amazon.com or browsing the bookshelves of the local Barnes & Noble. The sad fact is that we will never see such a book, because although popular belief is that the market for such books is driven by 'need,' this new book makes it obvious that it is in fact driven by purchasing power. And the children who will have My Beautiful Mommy read to them? They have as little a need to hear it as their parents have for the surgery that drives them to buy it. Comments (0)
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